TV Foolishness...

  My back has been acting up again, which means that I have been watching a lot of TV...I mean a LOT lot. My TV watching lately rivals that of the children of an exhausted single mother...

  Flipping through the channel guide like my thumb has to move 50 MPH or the couch will blow up, I have noticed several things. First of all, as everyone knows, there is far too much "reality" TV. Second of all, they seem to be running out of names for these stupid shows. I blame CSI, cuz they started it with their CSI Miami (which RULES) and their CSI NY. And the upcoming one, CSI Russian River District. Baxman will be the Head CSI...

  And everything now is "Wars." Storage Wars, Weed Wars, Swamp Wars, Pawn Wars, Ice Cream Wars. So I thought of one. How about STFU Wars?

 The premise of the show is a bunch of people that keep their mouths shut and live the good life. I, of course, would be the star...the cameras would follow me around doing day to day things. Like taking the 65 pound Catahoula pup down to the river to run some beans off. We attract interesting-ness, I think. Like the emo kids that had to walk within feet of us on the deserted beach to go smoke some grass behind the bathrooms. I didn't care, live and let live, right? If they were that intent on getting where they were going that they didn't notice the squirrely-eyed psychopath of a canine running about, it's all good. If any one of them had an aversion to getting splatted with drool or sprayed with doggie river water they could have opted out of veering in our direction. If there were cameras, maybe I would have tossed Rex's tennis ball towards the emos because that would have been good television, but I would have still STFU'd and minded my own business and enjoyed the lovely day...especially after seeing Rex take out 3 of the emos like bowling pins and scaring the crap out of the one the ball landed closest to...

  The television audience would be treated to very very little drama, almost zero bullshit, and a LOT of dish doing. Like, a crazy amount. My family is allergic to clean dishes, they really are, I got the diagnosis from webmd...they break out in awful hives and their throats swell up if there aren't at least 2 dirty dishes in the sink. The fact that the dishes are in the sink is certainly a step in the right direction, but still. It could be 4am and they can sense when the last dish is clean and one of  'em will wake up and cook a 7 course meal...dessert and all...

  Everyone would get along on the show, no one would talk shit behind backs because we all would know that it's way more fun to talk shit directly TO the jerk, if one must. The best part would be that not one of us would complain about not having the biggest TV or that their mom wont get them the latest electronic gadget...we'd be happy with what we have and make the best of life and not be the stereotypical butthead TV people...

  It would be totally awesome...and we could sometimes travel and teach people around the world not only the benefits of STFUing, but HOW to STFU. Then we would have an a spin off show called Mind Yer Own, and that would  have people that are very good at keeping their noses out of other peoples' business. And again, we could take it on the road occasionally and spread the knowledge...oh my goodness people, we could break the cycle of rampant stupidity, we could change the WORLD!!!

  And if that didn't work, we'd just add booze...