I am not sure how I should start this, but it's a story that needs to be told, so here goes...
We have established that the last year and a half hasn't been the easiest for me to deal with. Whatev, it happens to everyone from time to time. Constantly waiting for the bottom to drop out (again) was making me tense all the time, and so I became one of those people that got anxiety attacks. OK, I have been one of those people since the bus hippie days (fight with my best friend, who was also my landlord, mostly because we were too stupid to see that our boyfriends at the time had serious issues, ended up moving into a hippie bus and that's where I discovered that I was too redneck for the hippies, lost just about everything, but got it back thanks to my parents and my 3 jobs...anyway...). THIS battle, however, became a thing I had to deal with almost daily, as opposed to bi-monthly-ish. I had also recently gotten most of my interior female organs removed, which one would think would put a hitch in your giddy up, or a bitch, whatever...
So I went to the Doctor, who once again decided that I was depressed and prescribed something for that. The first set was Celexa, I think. WOW! Let's just say they weren't exactly compatible with my system, and I didn't feel better, then one day...how do I put it delicately?? Some stuff got broken. Really really broken. Luckily no one was home to witness my tantrum, because it was really really stupid, but borderline really really serious. So we decided that we needed to change the pills. Well, not WE, but you know what I mean.
Unfortunately, I guess it never occurred to anyone, including me at the time, that my life had simply hit a rough patch, and quite frankly SUCKED. Of course I was sad, bummed, freaked out, pissed off, all of that!! So I get to take a pill for that instead of trying to fix stuff? There was no question in the Doc's mind that my lone ovary could do the job of two with ZERO effect on my sense of well being, so let's not check that, let's take this pill. Well guess what?? The PILL didn't get BF a job, or a new battery for my truck, or the bills paid, or whatever else came up that needed to be unsucktified, WE did that. Hindsight is cool...
NOW, because of a paperwork snafu, I had to go off these pills, rather suddenly. I had wanted to anyway, but was going to try to stick it out the full year, as the Doc had suggested, and I most certainly DIDN'T want to go off them cold turkey!! But I did, and let me tell you what...It's pretty rough!!! It's been about two weeks, and I am still dealing with crap, some of it is even getting worse. Like I am not allowed to sleep anymore, for some reason. And I think it's called vertigo, that delightful feeling that you stepped in a hole and are going to fall, but you really didn't step in a hole? And headaches, oh boy, doozie headaches that hit you like a 2X4, all of a sudden and HAAAAAAAARD. And what was I just talking about??? Oh yeah, side effects. I can't remember a freaking thing half the time. In the middle of a conversation something happens and I forget what we were talking about. It's like the conversation is a Kleenex, and someone comes and pulls that idea right out of the box and it's gone...
So I say, if the Doctor says, "Here, take these," before you just fill the prescription, think about it. Do you think you are depressed because you have depression, or are you depressed because your life hit a rough patch? Will these pills fix whatever is upsetting you, or would winning the lottery fix it, or getting a puppy, or a night out with the girls, or my personal favorite, punching someone in the face? And keep in mind that I had gone in for severe back pain once or twice, and came out with the suggestion of antidepressants. And the reaction to all my other symptoms was sort of, "Bummer."
Just be careful and make sure it's actually worth taking antidepressants. If they will help, great, if not...well, it sucks to start them, and it SUCKS to stop them. My family has been awesome, because I haven't been able to drag my ass out of bed lately either, so they have been picking up some slack. THANK YOU R AND M!!!
It used to be pain pills the Doctors would throw at you like beads at Mardi Gras. Now it's these...and I don't think there is a Black Market for them. Or is there?
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